But this blows.
I didn't sign up for this.
I didn't sign up to have my breath taken away by the sight of toddlers in masks, or my heartbroken when our kids put on theirs.I didn't sign up to stalk Amazon Prime Now slots, always with a full cart waiting to be ordered (pro-tip, they open up new order slots at around 5pm and midnight regularly).
I didn't sign up to set my alarm to wake up to try to get that midnight next day slot, or at 7am, an hour before my Instacart Costco shopping window opens, to get up in case they have replacement questions (they did).
I didn't sign up to miss my Mom's 70th birthday, and to explain without believing it myself about why we can't quarantine there.
I didn't sign up to learn how my Instapot works for a VERY DELICIOUS HONEY SOY CHICKEN THIGHS. after months of ignoring its existence.
I didn't sign up to navigate childhood grief without anyone but the two of us keeping an eye on his feelings.
I didn't sign up for the gut punch of hearing DC schools are closed for the rest of the year... while on a work call... while juggling feelings of dread and terror and resignation.
I didn't sign up to homeschool, to close out all your beautiful Pintristy suggestions, when the four year old love of my life just needs to unglue himself from my lap for 15 minutes... because, dude, this work call is a video one.
I didn't sign up to be tech support when my hard drive fails, to knowing what angle looks less awful on Zoom calls.
I didn't sign up to be Internet enforcer for a kid who has never had access to the Internet who is doing everything wrong.
I signed up to watch the White House briefings for a couple days. Pro-tip: don't sign up for those.
I didn't sign up to schedule virtual slumber parties or Battleship games using the periodic table.
I didn't have enough lounge wear, even after three maternity leaves, to sign up for this.
I didn't sign up for waiting to go anywhere for an hour after a meal because my stomach is a stressed out mess and I can't keep any food down.
I didn't sign up for the uncertainty if I should request $7,000 in summer camp payments as a refund... and prepare Annie that her first sleep away camp likely won't happen.
I didn't sign up for knowing I'm not enough for our Girl Scout troop... that I should organize a virtual meeting but I have nothing left to give.
The chaos and mess and disaster around the house that you would think goes away when you are there all day? Didn't sign up for that either.
I didn't sign up for this rapid beginning having an ending that isn't in sight.
I didn't sign up for these VERY FIRST WORLD problems.
I don't want to be a part of history.
I didn't sign up to have my breath taken away by a ventilator that might save my life. I didn't sign up to parent heartbreak and pandemic grief.
I didn't sign up for this.
We didn't sign up for this.
I don't want to be a part of history.
We don't want to be a part of history.
But here we are. Living history. How will we be a part of it?
