SNOMG

Well, the proverbial sh*t hit the fan.

Well, the snow did.

Holy crap EDWARDSVERSE.

All the lovely snow days before ! Whose house can we make it to?  Let's drink crappy wine and vodka, and eat Doritos, Pizza Rolls, and Dip like it is our last meal.  Let's "I've never" and "A%$hole" and sure you can sleep over on my couch.  For days!

I could tell you all the stories about Snowpocalypse.  The house fire.  The being in a hotel forever.  The walking to dirty low rent Stans for cocktails because it was right there.  The being in a hotel with your dog.  Husband.  And one functional stove burner.  The pregnancy announcements of ALL THE PEOPLE a few months later than made an infertile woman a little stabby.

What a difference 5 years makes.

This snowstorm is for real.  Like for real real.

And sorry, sportsfans, maybe I am lacking an awesome-parenting-chromosome...but the magic isn't there. 

Yes.  I said it.  Blizzards are way more fun pre-kids.

I was listening the drunkish hipsters reveling in the middle of our VERY BUSY road last night, and I wanted to say "I WAS YOU!  COME MEET OUR THREE CHILDREN!"

I look out the window now? 

Said drunk hipsters (same or no, unclear), still reveling, walking down the middle of the road.

Our SNOW IN the last couple days?

Keeping it real here:

We'll start at wakeup on Friday.  School closed.  Work on telework. 

8am: Holy crap.  Everyone is still asleep.

"Why are we awake" 

"Because all the Southerners keep calling us to check on the storm."

Let's leisurely wake up, make a giant snowday breakfast, involve the kids.  Eggs, sausage, fruits, we are killing it.

OOOH.  Let's make a "work plan".  Montessori kids love work.  Let's list all the things!  Robbie loves all the things!  Let's post this list on the internets now.  Guess who put what on this list!

We fold laundry!

We put away the last of the Christmas wrap!

We leave the TV off for the WHOLE MORNING!

Let's take a lovely family walk!  Look at us getting fresh air and anticipating the storm.  Let's totally take a picture of it for the Internets

Let's take a before picture.

Let's finish that leftover pizza.

"TAKE A NAP.  I SAID TAKE A NAP.  IT WILL ONLY SNOW WHEN YOU WAKE UP"

(Hustles to get work report out.  Work report out.)

"Shawn, go get some chicken wings, you are going to be eating my crappy comfort food for the next 48-72 hours.  And all the comfort food I know has massive amounts of carbs and you are on Atkins, are you sure there isn't a blizzard waiver.  Also get me some Thai food en route.  What do you mean the Thai place is already shut down?"

(Oh crap.  The snow started).

"You still need to nap"

"No, we aren't watching Frozen"

"Yes, I know its snowing"

"Fine. Get up."

Let's COOK ALL THE THING!  Broccoli and cheese soup with the leftover honeybaked ham bone!

Faux Rice Krispie treats with cheerios!  Look how lovely we are with all our snow day activities!  Our happy children!

Happy children get TV.  All go to bed.

Congratulate self.  We are #killingit at parenting!  Parenting in snowstorms is awesome!  We are so good at it!

Pour cocktails.  Then some more.

"MAMA, Is it wake up time?"

6:30.  It is decidedly not wakeup time.

Three year olds can't tell time.

Buy ourselves  30 minutes.  That's it.

Ok, snow is lovely.  Kids are excited.  Let's be the awesome parents that we are.

Shawn shovels, I, with kids, go to make lovely breakfast.

(Edit:  I put children in front of TV, go to make lovely breakfast)

Make lovely eggs and sausages and smiley face blueberry pancakes.

We are such good parents!

(Well, maybe another show.)

"Robbie want to look at your work list?  We still need to wash some whites"

(Answer is decidedly no.)

I take a shoveling shift.  I'm loving it.  10ish.  HI NEIGHBOR!  Lovely lovely community let's all help each other.  Help ALL THE PEOPLE. Hooray shoveling!  We are all together!

Greet a trudging hipster with "good morning".  Get met with "I'm hungover".

Cheers.

Ok.  We've done some digging.  There's a metric shit ton of snow out here.  Let's jump on the taking-kids-outside-in-the-snow grenade.

(Dressing kids)

(Dressing some more kids)

Ok, kids outside.

Token baby in snow picture.

(He loved it). 

Send nice camera and Shawn inside.  Force "big kids" to "burn energy" by walking to the corner.

End up with 3 year old on my shoulders because the snow is literally to her shoulders.

Ill advisedly looking for the magic, have try to make snowmen. 

Snow too dry.

Snow balls?

Nope.

SNOW ANGELS!

Great.  Now we are all wet.  And one is crying.

Fine.  Let's pull the ripcord. 

Let's eat those lovely Cheerios treats!  And the first hot chocolate our kids have ever had!  Isn't this lovely??

GOOD MORNING HUNGOVER HIPSTER (It's lunchtime).

Force leftover soup options. 

Not loved.

Ok.  That digging soreness is setting in.

ALL MUST NAP.

No one naps. 

Four year old breaks cardinal family rule.  He becomes banished from house.  Dad goes with.  (No, I didn't send him into the tundra alone.  Considered it.)

All TV privileges removed for the day for the elder.  (Oh crap)

Fine, we'll effing watch Frozen, AH while the boys are out.

(I definitely maybe could have fallen asleep on the couch while said Frozen is watched).

LOVELY HOMEMADE DINNER.

"Get out of the kitchen.  I said get out of the kitchen.  Don't touch.  Stop touching.  DO NOT TOUCH"

6:30:  Bedtime? 

Yes. Bedtime.

6:31:  Mom pours a cocktail.

So yea, how's your storm going?  I don't even have any freaking Totinos pizza rolls.  (Pepperoni please).

You are welcome to sleep on my couch if you come with pizza rolls.

Parenting First

Tonight I removed my first splinter with tweezers.

Pro-tip:  It sucks to take a tweezer to the foot of a VERY YELLY three year old.

I succeeded.

But lordy.

Melancholy

I've had the time of my life over the last five months.

Wait.  Stop the presses.

This girl?  The one who couldn't wait to get back to work the last two maternity leaves?

She's not ready.

Not even a little.

The one who religiously read work emails, jumped on a few calls, made sure keep up with all things appropriation-procurement-sequestration-shutdown?

She hasn't been doing that.

The one who's Facebook "on this day" today showed her first day back from maternity leave with Robbie, delighting in to-do lists, and lunches, and meetings, and strategy calls.

She's feeling a little melancholy.

What a gift to get five full months of leave, to spend it not only with the baby, but having time for all the wants-to-do and need-to-dos!

To not have to spend the 90 minutes of hell in the evening and 60 minutes in the morning when everything is on rush and go and not have the time to enjoy the little time I get with the kids.

To not have to stress about teacher work day-snow-day-hurricane-day-sick-kid-wake-up-who-is-going-to-miss-work-am-I-going-to-lose-my-job.

I didn't have a chance to tell you how nervous I was to join Monday morning coffee with the stay-at-home Moms (and Dads) at Robbie's school.

How nervous I was that I wouldn't be able to hang or relate.

Or how I met the most lovely group of friends who have changed my perspective on where you find community.

I didn't tell you how I dug in gardens (I don't garden), how I baked cookies (I don't bake), how I hosted and planned and delighted (I do some of those things)

I probably didn't tell you that I actually against all my planning to formula feed 100% from the start, breastfed for a full four months, and the day J quit way before I was ready I spent three weeks and all my google skills trying to make it happen again.

I didn't tell you how I was concerned every time someone said "you look great today", realizing that they hadn't seen me without yoga (ps, we call pajamas pants yoga pants to feel better about wearing them in public) pants on for the last 10 days.

I didn't have a chance to tell you how often I've been able to say "yes".  To run for a PTA office.  To make a meal for a sick church member.  To visit with a lonely friend.

I didn't tell you how I delighted when my day became so full of those want-to-dos instead of had-to-dos.

I didn't tell you about the beautiful fall day strolls through forests, and museums, and hiking paths, and the conversations had.

I didn't tell you how I became the defacto snack-Mom after school pickup, and always made sure I had enough for the whole playground after school.

And I didn't tell you that I looked forward to that 4pm crowd every day.  To see new parent and grandparent friends, to get to know my older son again for an hour of just us time.

I didn't tell you that I know not to shop Harris Teeter on Wednesday mornings because that's when their specials swap and they aren't all posted.  Or that the mile walk to the Giant is just right on a lovely day. 

I didn't tell you about the people who fed my soul, who affirmed me and made me feel like I was exactly where I was supposed to be.

I didn't tell you that I now know all the kids in Robbie's school by name.  Most of the parents too.  I can even tell you what costume 90% wore for Halloween this year.

I didn't tell you how my heart swelled that day when my friend said, after a lunch that may have involved a beer or two, that she admired how I treated all the kids like they were my own.  A, that was the real deal.

And how that made me hope and feel like the best of my Mom was coming through in me as a Mom.

I didn't tell you about how I had time to write so many of the emails I wanted to write.   To check in on the friends who I wanted to check on.  To be present.   Not just for my kids, our family, but for our little DC community.

I hope to always be able to know what Robbie is saying when he says "Remember that day when we went the places with the three white balls and the bucket?"  (I totally do buddy).

And when Annie says "You had the balloons and you came to my party at school, and Zachary had the ninja turtle, and Izzy had the Elsa".

And that "I want an Anna" means I want two braids in my hair vs. "I want an Elsa" is one.

And I want to always get those secret smiles from James.  The ones that are, without a doubt, for me.  His main squeeze.  Always.

So yes, I return to work tomorrow, this time with melancholy rather than Joy.

How I completely now understand that lump-in-the-throat-moment.  How Moms cry at their desks on the first day back.

I hope I never miss those joyful moments because we are working so hard to afford to make them.

Maybe I do have a Mom gene after all.

Happy New Year

This kid doesn't get nearly enough print.

He's cute and awesome

(except when he's not:  see tonight's "I DON'T REMEMBER HOW TO PUT ON MY PAJAMAS" epic bedtime battle)

But for now?  Cute.

Undiscussed milestones

In our house, we often discuss the "why don't they talk about this" milestones.

Rolling, we know.
Crawling, yep.
Sleeping through the night, for real.

But have they told you about the baby-holds-his-own-bottle?

It's the real deal?

And now for the preschooler?

We've unlocked the self-pump on the swing badge.

P.S. :  When you have three, this one is huge.

Get it Annie!

(And teach your brother!)