I woke to the earth-shatteringly glorious to DCers news that we have a new baby panda at the National Zoo.
After six years of trying, months upon months of panda watch, tracking and reporting on hormone raises and drops, voyeuristic viewing of one of the two panda cams, Mei Xiang delivered what every DCer has been waiting for-- a new cub.
The Twitter was all atwitter. New cub! #pandacub #cubwatch #MeiXiang #pandacam #butterstick2 ... trending ahead of our dearly disappointing Redskins for hours upon hours.
And what could I think?
Her fertility, or lack there of, has been on parade for all of us for the last six years.
That's like at least three years in human years, right?
The panda we are on the cusp of sending back to China because she didn't deliver what we wanted and needed as a zoo-going public.
I mean, really, what's wrong with that darn panda?
And it clicked this morning.
There's a lot that our Mei Xiang can teach us about infertility.
Like, you know what? There's probably a lot of pressure to all the scientific watching and hormone measuring and artificial insemination and panda camming.
Maybe if she just relaxed, it would happen.
Get drunk. Go on a cruise. It'll happen Mei Xiang.
That damn otter down the way? The one that had 11 cubs on her first wham bam? You probably hate her a little bit. Or a lot.
I mean, maybe God didn't mean for it to happen. Things happen for a reason, right? I mean, maybe it just wasn't meant to be, right?
I wonder if the gorilla down the way tried to pawn off one of her cubs on a particularly bratty day. I mean, you sure you want one of these?
You know? This world is becoming overpopulated anyways. Maybe you should adopt one of those extra red panda cubs. I mean they aren't in danger of becoming extinct, but you know how it is.
Mei Xiang. Maybe you just weren't doing it right.
All that darn ferrets? All they had to do was LOOK at each other, and there came five babies.
And don't get me started on the rabbits. I mean, they are like RABBITS.
Welcome to the world Butterstick 2.
And Mei Xiang? Maybe we're not so different after all.
We've just earned the right to be smug and love our babies a little extra.