Wednesday, February 18, 2015

Taking on

I have four months worst of posts and thoughts and catching up to do.  Maybe my Lenten adventure needs to be to make 10 minutes a few times a week to write this blog.

To catch up on the months.

Where we've been and where we are.

And to discuss being pregnant after infertility.

Without treatments.

Because there we are.

I think I've been waiting for the reality of it to settle in... and the reality is that I'm not settled with it.

I'm used to not being able to get pregnant.

And here I am.  And I haven't processed it.  17 weeks later I haven't processed it.

I'm dwelling in the fears still-- about money, stress, working Momness, and just not knowing how we are going to do it.

And I'm in the guilt.  Still very much in the guilt.

So there I am. Pregnant.  Again.  Unexpectedly.

Gratefully.

But unexpectedly.

Help me process this one.  We've got until July.