About That Decade

Hi there.  Ten years later, the decade where things got real.

Like real real.

On Facebook I see all of you posting your then and nows, your best ofs, your photos and moments and highs and lows and the how fars you have come.

And I think of ye olde 2009...  the year end post of how much money I saved on store loyalty cards and coupons (It was $1568.84 for those of us counting and looking back in our Facebook on this days).

That decade it saw things.  I think they all will.

We were on New Years Eve a decade ago less than a month ago from a house fire that kicked us out of our home for two months, but at the time was the BIGGEST THING THAT HAPPENED.

And then Snowmaggedon. The one where we lived in a freaking Residence Inn with one working stove burner and approximately four outfits each including no winter gear.

And then OMG WE ARE SO UPSIDE DOWN ON OUR HOUSE.

And let's sprinkle some, (sorry for the overshare, but OMG if we can't get pregnant during a snowmaggedon or the year preceding and following it, we are so infertile, and let's talk about that cost too).

The time we drove back from a South Carolina Thanksgiving on our first fertility round because we didn't get that you had to get stimulating sometimes and after calling all pharmacies in a three hour drive no one had the fertility meds available.

And that was just in the first year of the decade.

You guys, we have ridden the coaster-- not just Shawn and I, but all of us.

We've seen job losses and gains.

We've had unemployment and joyful employment.

We've had haunted houses and upside down and then rightside houses that we sold to others.

We've welcomed one, and then another, and (OMG THOSE FIRST TWO WERE SO MEDICALLY EXPENSIVE), a surprise another.

We've mourned a parent and the end of a marriage of another set.

We've seen first steps and first words and the first thousand diapers.

We've seen their strengths, and we've seen how they amplify our weaknesses.

We've battled.  OH MY HAVE WE BATTLED.

We've fought over forks, spoons, balls, helmets, hoodies, shower temperatures, remote control power, buckling seatbelts, cold vs. toasted toast, wearing shoes, not wearing shoes, throwing mulch, only liking melted cheese and not real cheese, why is my water not cold enough, I don't want to go, why is it my turn, why isn't it my turn, it's my ball not yours, melting down, forgiveness, packing the wrong shoes, pants, shirts, books.  And did I mention the remote control?

OMG with the fighting.

But you know what?

I don't think I'll ever stop thinking we are screwing it up every day.

Wondering if this is the interaction our kid will remember when they go to therapy in their 20s.

Wishing and hoping I had done better on my end.  I'm the adult, you know, I should do better.

I'd do it all over again and I'll continually resolve to do it better.

To control myself and how they react.

To try my best to find the magic (except that Santa lie, #santatruther)

But mostly, we need to keep plowing this beautiful messy field of lives we are planting.   What a privilege.   What a challenge.

So while we are all eating our greens and blackeyed peas and pork and tamales and cornbread and all the things, here's to the 20s.

But oif.  The teen years in the next decade.  Send help.