Zazoo, Take Two

In one of my favorite posts on this blog, I talked about not feeling that special ZING of motherhood with Robbie.  The zazoo I called it.  http://palmettobaby.blogspot.com/2011/10/zazoo.html

And I'm here to confirm that delayed zazoo?  In my very scientific experiment of motherhood?  That growing vs. automatic zazoo?  Its totally normal.

I haven't had the motherhood crazies that I was so terrified of.  I spent the last two trimesters of my pregnancy with AH worrying about these first eight weeks. 

At the end of the day?  Robbie was a good baby.  We were so spoiled.  He slept through the night EARLY.  VERY VERY EARLY.  He probably slept through the night because he was starving, but that's neither here nor there.

But we weren't allowed to talk about it because rule number one of the Motherhood Fight Club, "do not discuss the sleep" because the minute you discuss the sleep, everything goes to hell.

So we are due for a tough baby.

Robbie is baby Shawn.  He's toddler Shawn.  He's sunshiny and laid back and cheerful.  Smiley and chatty and just a genuine pleasure to be around most of the time.

So Anna Helen is bound to be more like me... right?  High strung.  Worrisome.  High expectations, high demands. 

So far, she's not most of those things.

We do have a VERY long witching hour.  Starting at about 6:30 she gets the extreme grumpies.  Sometimes it lasts for four hours.  Sometimes for six. It can get trying, but all she's doing is clusterfeeding to tank up for the night.  The first four hours, I can do.  But hours five and six I start to lose my freaking mind.

And then the "I have a newborn and it is nighttime" dread sets in.  That not wanting to close your eyes to go to sleep because you have no idea what kind of night is ahead of you.

The nights are never as bad as they could be.

I have the luxury of being able to nap during the days (even if I am never able to).

But I just don't love the newborn days.  That's the long and short of it.

Neither of my kids are cuddlers.  They don't want to be held.  Don't want to be snuggled.  Don't want any of those cute newborn things that others experience. 

The newborn smell?  Kind of smells like a mix of spit up and wet diaper to me.

And like a bunch more laundry I'm going to have to do.

And I'm still zazooing for the Robster.  He's just so... fun... at this age.  He's picking up new words.  He's loving anything he can stack and build.  He thinks that balloons are the most amazing thing he has ever seen in his life. 

This week?  DOORS.  DOORS ARE UNBELIEVEABLE.  "A door", "A do'"... over and over and over.

And you feel like such a schmoe for thinking "ok, we just need to get through these days".  Newborn parenting is a lot of surviving, and not a lot of enjoying.

The then you get one of these SMILES.  A total Tyra-would-be-proud-smize.

You can't WAIT for her to notice you.  Follow you around the room with her eyes.

She totally gives you the best smiles.  I mean, right now, you are the "milk lady".  Furry guy as we call him?  He's great and all. But holy shit, there's MOM!

Zazoo.  Part two.

Times two.

Yoda Robbie says: "Days are short.  Waste them not."

The good always outweighs the bad

We have had a eventful day.

We had a wonderful morning - the weather took a turn for the better after a week of grey and snow - we had a wonderful time in church with a great message and the celebration of one of our members turning 90 and lunch at a new restaurant in the neighborhood that turned out to be pretty good.

When we returned home I met our new next door neighbor and we finished the conversation with her asking me if we had any issues with our water pressure to which I answered no.  Town home owners Hint #28 - if your next door neighbor asks about water pressure run, don't walk, to see if there is any water in your basement because it is very likely that they have a leak.  Turns out that this was the case this afternoon. Nothing like wet/dry vacuuming out your basement all afternoon.

This when I have to remind myself that the good always outweighs the bad.  While by every measure this is true I find myself frustrated to no end at times.

Nothing a good night sleep won't fix.

A Look

Today is the 1st day I've felt like the Robster and Anna Helen look alike... what do you think??

Differences... by Shawn

In terms of anatomy, differences between boys and girls can be pretty obvious. But when it comes to  development, the disparities between the two sexes are actually pretty small. It turns out that behavior and development have more to do with life experiences than they do with gender or so they say. 

Having said that I grew up in the South in a conservative household.  I have two older brothers and one older sister.  If you are keeping score at home that means I have a sister and that I am the youngest of four children.

While we certainly grew up as a family (wonderful and loving in the extreme) we were not treated the same.  My sister (AuPa to Robbie) was kept with a much closer watch than myself.  I would dare say that some of that was due to gender and some of it was due to the fact that my parents were a little tired after 4 kids and that while I was certainly "rambunctious" I never was destructive - never mind the hairspray-torched carpet at my Grandmother's house.

Which brings us to our children.  How are we going to raise them?  And are we going to treat them differently? 

Of course we are. 

Boys are in some ways like cats.  You can let them out by themselves to some extent and when they screw up, and they will, they limp back home. 

This does not mean that you do not have firm limits and that you always, always hold them accountable for their actions. It is my firm belief that boys and young men have the best chance to excel under strong and to large extent uncompromising parental leadership.

Ok Captain Von Trapp what about girls? 

Raising a girl scares me to death. 

There is so much that a father wants to protect is daughter from while at the same time so much that a father wants his daughter to experience.  This is with the frustrating realization that there are limits to what can be done to "protect" her.  I am certain that I will be repeating the words of my parents when I tell her that "you have been raised to know the difference between right and wrong we have confidence that you will act accordingly."

Oh and by the way be home by 10!

Having said all of that I have absolute faith that we will, with God's help, do a good job in raising the two amazing children He has blessed us with.  The "bumps" along the way will certainly keep us on our toes. 

Thoughts on Inauguration complete with fancy photos

Mama and Dad got a much needed night out last night with friends to celebrate the Inauguration with some fellow Palmetto staters.

The evening was made that much more special by some of our new parent friends joining us for the celebration.

We've come a long way since our 1st date eight years ago, at the same ball. (The 1st picture)

Shawn and I have to constantly remind each other how lucky we are to have seats in the front row of history.  DC isn't perfect, but we get to do and experience things that those not from DC could never even dream of.

We are lucky.

We're lucky to live in a country where everyone can gather to celebrate peacefully.

We're lucky to live in a country where we can discuss the good and bad things that are happening, and hopefully work together to create some solutions.

We're lucky to live in a time where our children will have every possible opportunity presented to them.  Hopefully a time that EVERY child will have every possible opportunity presented to them.

We're reminded when we share a cab with a driver who has brought his family to this country and they've had every opportunity he hoped for.

We're reminded when we see a nation gather to celebrate our President.  To celebrate democracy.

We may not speak out as often as we should.

We may put on fancy gowns and tuxes and drink champagne instead of attending rallys and passing petitions.

Maybe it's easier than agitating and acting out.

Maybe it's enough to participate by raising our family with the values that turn them into good people that care for ALL of their neighbors.

We've joined a new church.  I've been lucky to spend some real time talking to a real Pastor who happens to be a real person.  It's challenging me.  It's making me thing about things that have been put on the back burner.  Things like my place in the universe. My responsibility to my children and family.

I want to teach our children that the world is a good place. That people are inherently good, and they should be as well. That they should live by the Golden Rule. That they should and will be help accountable for their actions. That they should be socially conscious and mindful of those with less opportunities than they may have in the future. It it right to teach them to pray for those things? Or is is most appropriate to tell them to LIVE them. 

My personal faith is built around the intangible things. The sunset. The things working out when they seemed they wouldn't. Our family being built when the odds were against us. The goodness of family and friends I've been blessed with. I haven't prayed for these things. I haven't asked God for them. But somehow they've been given to me. Through God, or luck, or opportunity, or perseverance, I don't know. But I know my cup is full..

It's a good time right now.

We are lucky.

Also, damn.. I look good for just having had a baby seven weeks ago!