Baborexic

*Warning to male friends and relatives, this post may include the word boobs*

So... mother's intuition isn't all that wrong.

I just felt like our "little peanut" was still pretty peanuty.

We had Robbie's one month appointment today, and my boob-fears were realized.

He's not gaining weight like he's supposed to, and my body just simply isn't making enough milk to keep him on track to grow.

Topping the scales at 8 pounds now... he was supposed to be closer to 8.5 by this appointment. So in comes the dreaded F word.

The formula. 

We've been using it.  I don't have a problem with supplementing with it.  But now we basically need to quadruple what we had been giving him.

Motherhood doubts?  I have them. 

Have I been starving our poor baby over the last four weeks?  Should I be waking him every 2 hours to eat?  Is he laying there hungry thinking, "why won't this woman give me more damn food!" 

Will our kid be the slow and sick one because he didn't get the goodies he needed through exclusive BFing?

This is my only job right now.  To feed a baby.  And I can't even do that right.

Poor Baborexic.