Well, we've hit the first pregnancy road block. At my 12 week appointment I was diagnosed with placenta previa (p.p)... what that basically means is my placenta is in the wrong place and if it doesn't move in the next few months, I will almost certainly have a c-section. And oh yes, if it doesn't go away by the 3rd trimester, I may have to go on bedrest. (don't tell my boss). But for now, I'm just supposed to be careful.
Well, I was chatting with Em about booking tickets for Ab's 1st birthday party and decided to google p.p. and flying. Stupid, wicked internets... made me nervous. So I, for the 1st time in the pregnancy, became "that lady" and called the doctor. Who advised me to not take long plane flights. Oh yea, I'm supposed to be going to California. Tomorrow. Uh, no, I don't think so.
So, I'm not going.
And hoping my boss understands.
And having my first moment of how to balance life, work and motherhood. Up to this point, my personal value has mostly come from success at work. I'm GOOD at work. I LIKE work.
I want to continue to be able to say those things, but tonight I just feel like a gigantic placental fail.